A Can Do Attitude

A lot has happened in the last couple of months so I apologise for the length, but I have lots of pictures!

Baby Transitions

Can you see the brown patch?

The biggest transition from my last post to now is my attitude. In the beginning I felt Sakura dictated my schedule. I hated spending most days not doing much and I decided that I needed to test my limits and see what I could achieve with the baby. I started to put her down more and get things done while she played, I took her to stores and playgroups and mum's groups, and I even exercised while holding her. The best change was that I made a baby wrap which makes it so much easier to carry her around the house, vacuum, or grocery shop. She usually falls asleep after a bit of walking around. I have now made more for myself and other moms. Now there is no excuse to not get things done. 

Doing Country Heat with Sakura in the wrap

Mums group

Playgroup

Sakura used to go to sleep around 10pm and when I tried to do earlier it was exhausting! I kept at it though and got her to go to sleep around 8pm easily, and now it is closer to 7:30pm. She will usually sleep until 12-1 a.m. before needing a feed. Now we are working on getting her to take naps during the day. The problem is I have trained her to feed to go to sleep or to be bounced to sleep. Because of her reflux I was doing whatever I could to get her to sleep, but now that reflux is slowly improving I am trying to help her to put herself to sleep. At night time it is not so bad, but daytime naps are a struggle. I have at least finally had more success with getting her to take a bottle of expressed milk. I can also get her to go 2.5-3 hours between feeds. This has made my life much easier!

She still hates my milk at times even though I am trying to be strict to a Gluten Free Dairy Free diet. At this point the vomit has just been such a regular occurrence that it doesn't bother me and she doesn't cry in endless pain anymore. In fact, she is happy most of the time. She smiles at everyone and everything. I constantly get comments about how alert and attentive she is. My doctor predicts she will be very observant and that we "won't be able to get anything past her." He says that we won't be able to lie to her and that we will need to be consistent with our rules. No surprise there - Matt and I were the same as children according to our parents. 

She greets me like this every morning

Pathways class

We have been having fun with Sakura's progression as she has better hand coordination, loves to stick everything in her mouth, constantly grabs anything I'm holding, and her laugh is adorable. Our friends let us borrow their Jolly Jumper and she absolutely loves it! Matt puts her in that and has her watch Animusic. I am now having people watch her or babysit 1-2 times a week so that I can keep up with Pathways and Matt's business. I realised that with what I do for Matt's work I basically do have a part-time job and I needed a way to guarantee I got enough time to get certain tasks done. She loves her friends that watch her!

Babysitting with Dyani

With her bestie Sahara at church

The Vaccination Debate

I wanted to mention my struggles about vaccinating that happened this last month. When I realised I needed some regular time baby free I looked into childcare. The government helps contribute to childcare costs, but Sakura has not been vaccinated and does not meet the requirements. I felt it was best not to vaccinate at birth, which I confirmed with prayer. It became time to assess whether now was a good time or not to do her 4 month needles. I did lots of research, asked friends, asked doctors, and felt that whatever I decided - Sakura would be ok. The Lord answered my prayer of what to do in an unexpected way. A friend offered her childcare services and then I wouldn't have to vaccinate her (at least for now). This was a relief because I don't think I was quite ready to do the vaccinations. I've learned so much from this process and the most important is that there is no RIGHT or WRONG with vaccinations. The same goes for parenting. What is best for one person and family may not be the same for another. I wanted the Lord to tell me what was RIGHT and what He taught me was that I had to choose what I felt was best. President James E. Faust stated in a talk on choices that to make CORRECT choices we need to "evaluate all available facts on both sides of an issue" and to involve "prayer and inspiration." The only absolute truth in this world is The Gospel of Jesus Christ as stated by Dieter F. Uchtdorf in his talk "What is Truth". For everything else we just make the best decisions we can. 

Birthday Fun

My birthday was January 22nd and I treated myself to a massage and Ben & Jerry's but that was about it. The following day my sister's package from the U.S. arrived and so it was perfect timing.That weekend was Australia Day where we played games, ate great food, and had lots of fun with some friends from church. I think it was the first time we ever did anything big for Australia Day and I'm glad we did. I got one more belated birthday present where Matt and I went horseback riding. I had a bit of a panic because it ended late and I was worried about Sakura. What if she didn't take the bottle and was screaming the hole time with the family I left her with? She was fine and was sleeping when I got there. I was glad it all worked out and that horseback riding place is fantastic! They are only 15 minutes from our house and they even gave me opportunities to do some cantering because I was more experienced. 

 Matt's birthday was March 9th and I had gotten us tickets to see the musical Aladdin. It was great, but as usual Matt would have been fine had we done nothing. One of these years I hope to come up with something so great that he will be like "Wow, Shanna this was awesome!" The year we went skydiving was pretty epic, but he just remembers feeling sick afterwards. *Sigh

The Dog

One day I noticed a puppy at our door. As I opened the door the dog just walked in. We took Shade's leash and tried to find the dog's owner in our complex. We walked around the whole complex and no one had ever seen the dog before. It just didn't seem likely the puppy had just wandered in from somewhere beyond the complex. She clearly had a good owner since she had a collar and responded to commands like sit and stay. Since it was late at night we couldn't take her anywhere so we decided to keep her the night and take her to the RSPCA in the morning where they could check her microchip. The dog didn't bother Shade at all, but Matt didn't want the dog in the house so we put her in the back with some food and water. Unfortunately the doors in our place suck and so while we had gotten to bed the dog suddenly came in our room and jumped on the bed. The back door was still locked, but open. I would have left her in the house but she was barking a little and might wake the baby. This time I put her in the front gated patio. She was gone by the time we woke up. There is a gap at one side that she could have slid under. I just hope nothing happened to her, but we did what we could. 

Sewing

A YSA in my ward who is also in my Pathways class mentioned how she finished her fashion design certificate and was looking for material to create some projects. I told her she could have any of my leftover material but would have to help me cut out the fabric for the patterns I intend to use. She now comes to my house once a week to help me with a project or work on her own. It's great because I learn by working on things with her and as I have a little more sewing experience I can help her learn a few things as well. I just finished the dress we have been working on for a few weeks! 

As I mentioned early about making moby wraps for other mums, I also had a woman asking if I could make a pram liner. I haven't made one before, but was planning on doing one for my pram anyway. If all goes well I might make a few extra dollars by doing some baby projects like that on the side. I just have to be careful that I don't overdo it. Simple projects aren't hard to complete during nap times, but more extensive projects could take me a LONG time to complete. I've also just discovered Craftsy.com which has some awesome courses and tutorials on sewing and things. It's so great to have a hobby that is useful and something I can do with Sakura. 

Friends and YSA

We had an interesting event take place in February. I won't go into detail here about it, but let's just say we had a VERY bad night and had friends arrive at the perfect time to make things better. For what felt like the 100th time, I was so grateful that we moved here and into the ward that we have. We've met so many amazing people that have been such a blessing to us! Later in the week we also spent time with the Innis family at their new place and we managed to have our bubs sleep while we played Settlers of Catan. Thank you to everyone that reaches out to us and has helped us have fun times and given us support!

Sakura and Finley

Our calling to work with the YSA is still awesome. We went to Wet N' Wild with the YSA on what was an unfortunately rainy day. Nevertheless we had a good time and both of us were able to go on quite a few of the rides. The water was rather cold so Sakura didn't get much time in the water. We kept her in her swimmers just in case though and this led to Matt getting peed on right before we left. Another night we had all the YSA over for a break the fast and Sakura had so much fun in the jumper and with all the attention she was getting. 

My Grandmother

This last month my grandmother Shirley Woodruff passed away on my dad's side. At this point I only have one grandparent left. It is amazing how quickly they all passed. I'm happy my grandma is now with her husband again so it is not a sad thing for her to pass. This time I was able to watch the funeral through a link my dad sent me. It was wonderful to be able to participate in some way. I also learned that the songs I heard as a child like "I Love the Mountains" and "An Austrian went Yodeling" were from my grandmother. Naturally I have begun singing these songs to my daughter to keep the tradition alive. 

I realised that if I wanted to go back to Utah for family I wouldn't be able to because I don't have Sakura's passport yet! I have since been working on trying to get her Australia and US passports. I also need her U.S. social security number to file U.S. taxes. This is quite complicated because I have to go to Sydney to file the paperwork at the U.S. embassy in person. Matt decided we would go together once he got a work vehicle so we can take his stuff out of storage in Sydney. So now the steps are 1. Get vehicle loan  2. Purchase work vehicle  3. Sell car  4. Drive to Sydney and file paperwork.  On the bright side I took about 30 photos that might work for the passport so hopefully I got at least one acceptable one. 

Farm Expo

I saw a sign for a farm expo and it happened to be a day Matt didn't have to work. We made it a family event and Sakura got to pet some cows and goats, feel some freshly cut sheep skin, and watch some horses. She had a blast. The only issue was it was SO HOT! It was a cool and cloudy day at first, but it turned humid and hot. It was too hot to keep her covered and so she got a little sun on her arms from walking around. Needless to say I will be getting some baby worthy sun cream for the future. Matt was happy because he bought a fruit salad tree. He chose one that grows oranges, lime, and lemon. I have a black thumb so I told him its his responsibility and not to expect me to touch it. I hope we can keep it alive. Even my small cactus plant is dying which requires virtually no maintenance. 

This month will be quite crazy. I'm attending a Parent Mentor Training where they teach mum's to be able to facilitate mum's groups and perinatal support groups. It will be a lot of research based information about the perinatal period and how to help new mum's. I'm excited but dreading what it will be like to spend an entire day long even with Sakura. They are going to have midwives and toys there to help, but who knows how it will go. I am also going to a baby and toddler show this weekend with my friend Cate. I'm hoping I can get some baby-proofing things and a new car seat at good prices. For the most part, life is pretty good. I now understand I CAN do anything I want to, it just takes some creativity and organisation to make it happen.

She LOVES the cat!

Random beetle shell I found

The First Year of Motherhood

I Know I'm a Mom Because:

• I am more proficient at doing things with one hand
• There is no such thing as a "schedule" anymore as my world now revolves around when baby eats and sleeps
• The amount of things that can be achieved in just 20 minutes has tripled
• Laundry has become a daily chore
• Sometimes I forego showering or even going to the bathroom for long periods of time
• I suddenly understand why some people have done crazy things while tending to their baby such as shaking the baby, leaving them unattended, and even the guy that puts Vodka on the baby's dummy (pacifier). 
• I know what it actually means to sacrifice for another individual
• I can identify my child's cry amidst other children's cries
• ANYTHING that can help the baby stay calm and quiet seems like your best friend like bouncing on an exercise ball for endless hours and watching movies. 
• My exercise routine now consists of walks with the pram (stroller), baby deadlifts, and hundreds of times up and down the stairs to put the baby to sleep
• All clothes are regularly covered with drool, spit up, and occasionally poop. 
• Sometimes those same clothes are worn multiple days before being washed (After all it will just get dirty again right?) 
• My body can run perfectly fine on 5-6 hours of sleep even when there was a 10 minute break in the middle to feed the baby. 
• I don't think I ever truly understood what feeling drained meant until now
• And finally... I never knew how much smiles and silly noises could bring me so much joy!

Now I get to start 2018 with a new version of me - Shanna 2.0. This version involves a person who is now a mother which includes upgrades in selflessness, learning how to accept help from others, multi-tasking, physical emotional and spiritual strength, awareness of surroundings, and an increase in baby stuff!

The Holidays:

Before discussing plans and events of the new year I should first cover how the last year ended. Christmas is my favourite holiday so I put up Christmas lights around our unit, hung up stockings, and printed out a picture of a Christmas tree since we weren't going to get an actual tree. I even had a diffuser with evergreen scented oil to add to the ambience. The only problem was we had only one stocking so I decided to make one with leftover material I had. I was pretty happy with the end result! (Apparently I never bothered to take a picture)

For presents Matt and I really struggle since we tend to buy what we need and many wants as the year progresses. This last year though I kept a list of anything that Matt was interested in but wouldn't likely go out and buy himself. I also kept a want/wish list for myself. In the end I got Matt a couple of things off the list and I got a couple of things for me for fun. I like the giving part more than the getting part anyway. Since we had plans Christmas day I just had Matt open the gifts on Christmas Eve. It was perfect because he got lots of time to build his new Lego set and play with his micro magnets. That day we had a shorter church meeting and I made a turducken roast for Christmas Eve so it was a pretty great day.

Christmas morning we had breakfast with our friends the Whitakers. It was a lovely meal spent with good people and I was glad we shared it with others instead of staying at home alone. Later we went to the Innis home to have a big lunch with them and the missionaries. We had amazing ham and various salads for lunch. I made my first ever pumpkin pie for the occasion. My gluten free pie crust turned out better than I expected, and the gluten free mud cake we made was also a success. After our meal we spent the rest of the time playing games including Settlers and Epic Duels. Unfortunately, Sakura was not having a great day that day. She struggled to sleep the whole day and so by around 6pm she was overtired, having reflux as usual, and who knows what. We tried everything and finally just let her cry in the corner hoping she would calm the next time we picked her up. She didn't. It was probably one of the worst days she has had and so as we were leaving I asked Dan if he and Matt could give her a blessing just in case. I was so grateful I didn't have to go through that alone and I had friends that were understanding and were able to help me not get distraught over my distressed daughter.

Matt didn't have work until after the holidays so we tried to take advantage of the time we had together. I wanted to go to the beach, but as we packed all of the stuff and left we saw that the freeway heading to the northern beaches was packed and barely moving. We decided to go to a place called Cedar Creek that wasn't too far from our place, but unfortunately after an hour of driving around we did not find the swimming area of the creek. After getting home we discovered we just didn't drive far enough down the road.

Later in the week we did a city scavenger hunt called Big City Hunt with Dan and Cate Innis where we went around major landmarks in the city answering questions via an app. It was a nice walk, but I would have preferred some more difficult questions that really made you think. I would definitely recommend doing with a family of young kids.

As of Dec 30 she is 2 Months Old!

We didn't have plans on new years eve, but when I discussed with a member about visiting to discuss finances, they invited us over to play games with them and their family. The funny part of this story is that I had mistaken who Matt and I had talked to about getting help organising finances and this was the WRONG family. They were likely VERY confused why I was asking to go over how they do their finances, but I explained my error and everything worked out. In the end I was glad I made the mistake, because we had a great New Years Eve with them. We left before midnight to try and put the baby to sleep at home so we missed the countdown.

The next morning I wanted to try to go to the beach again, but Matt wasn't up for it. Our friends the Lybberts from the night before posted they were going to Redcliffe Lagoon and I convinced Matt to go. It was Sakura's first time in a pool and she seemed to like it. She slept for a very long time afterwards too!

Other Events:

I bought material and made my own moby wrap, which has so far been my favourite wrap for Sakura. Later I was brave enough to try grocery shopping with her in the wrap and it was a huge success!

We have had lots of doctor's appointments lately. Matt had a bunch of tests done and the doctor thinks he might be celiac. We don't know the results of the celiac test yet. Additionally, he wants Matt and I to get this genetic test that looks for chronic conditions and other problems with gut health. The company does a specialised report with the results and I hope this will help explain many of the issues both of us have had. In previous posts I have made a lot of mention about the MTHFR gene mutation we have, but according to my doctor, he believes my gut problems and auto-immune condition stem from more than gust the gene mutation. I'm hoping that I can help my body to improve because right now Sakura has not been doing well. The doctor says she has gut issues, structural issues, and has allergic reactions to something in my milk. Structural problems he can help by doing osteopathic adjustments. Her cheeks get read and bumpy when she has allergic reactions to my milk and this can be improved by a tedious process. It's called P/N testing where you find the precise diluted mixture of breastmilk that neutralises the allergen. I take 2ml raw breastmilk and then and put it into a dropper bottle with 8ml sterile water. After mixing this up I take 2ml of the diluted mixture and repeat the process until I have 6 dropper bottles with increasingly diluted mixtures. Then I have to wait till she is asleep and find her pulse on the inside of her elbow to get her base pulse rate. I give her a few drops (while still asleep) of the raw milk and then check the pulse again. Her pulse spikes in reaction to the allergen. I then repeat this with each of the diluted mixtures until I find the one that returns her pulse to the base rate, typically number 3 or 4. This has been an issue because 1. I need to use a new needle and syringe for each bottle and I quickly run out. 2. I struggle to find her heart rate and wake her up looking for it. 3. It is hard to take the time to do this and I have to do it every three days. 4. The diluted mixture has to be given before every feed in order to have the effect, but it also has to be refrigerated. It's a pain to run to the refrigerator every time you want to feed your baby. Now for her gut issues - she gets reflux and abdominal pain. Sometimes she will wake up screaming in pain. I have been giving her DigestEasy which can help with reflux and colic especially if it is due to a reaction to the Casein in the breastmilk (read more here). This helps, but also has to be in the refrigerator and it is hard to be consistent with every feed. I also have been given her Infant Friends for reflux and Brauer's Colic drops for the abdominal pain. Everything helps, but it is difficult to keep up with and be consistent. It's not knowing what to do that's the problem, it's doing it.


 

Anyway things have been rough trying to get her to adjust to a schedule of some sort, keep her as happy as can be expected, and still have a little me time here and there. Luckily due to some local help I was able to get my hair done, get the house clean for inspection, and I've even managed to do some baking!

The New Year Plans:

I won't bother listing my yearly goals or anything here, but I thought I would list what I had in my previous year's goals that I achieved.

• Better Mental Health
• Move to Queensland
• 2-3 Sewing Projects
• Have a kid

Not too bad! I think my mental health took a serious dive before it improved, but at least I'm not as bad as I was. This new year has started off well with Matt and I taking the Pathway Connect courses through BYU-Idaho. The first course is Life Skills and I am excited for getting better at having a schedule as well as learning how to study while being a mom. So far I do all the homework as early as I can so I can help Matt with his if needed. I know we will be blessed as we work towards doing more with our time even with our cheeky baby. 

Sakura the Movie - gift from my brother

My grandma (mother's side) recently passed away and I was sad I was unable to attend her funeral and see all the cousins. Not too long after the President and Prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints also passed away. I find it ironic because both my Grandmother Ruth Wittsell and the Prophet Thomas S. Monson had a long legacy of service. Both were always thinking of others and went above and beyond the call of duty to help. It is wonderful to have such wonderful examples in my life.

This year will definitely be an interesting one. My brother is coming to visit in May and my best friend Laura wants to visit again as well. We have officially started a gluten free dairy free diet again and my hope is we will get much better at meal planning and trying new recipes. So far I have made some decent pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. It will also be fun to see the church progress under the new First Presidency including the prophet Russell M. Nelson, Dallin H. Oaks, and Henry B. Eyring. I don't know what is truly in store for me this year, but I know that the Lord does and that is all I really need to know.