Depression update - with motivation comes realisation.
I came to a turning point where I was motivated to do things again, but discovered that can also make me feel overwhelmed. It's like I was so focused on ignoring everything around me during depression that as I started to "wake up" I began to see the chaos around me. Although I am talking about my very untidy home, I am also talking about life in general.
I described it to my psychologist like this: Life is a mountain and before depression I felt I was about 3/4 of the way up and slowly moving upward. Throughout depression I kept falling down until I hit the bottom and just circled around it since I wasn't motivated to climb anymore. Now that I can climb again I tried to run up as fast as I could, but realised I was a long way down from where I used to be. Not only do I realise it will take me a long time to get to where I was, there is just as much likelihood I won't reach the same spot. For example: I remember always being good at following up with people and remembering important things without writing them down. Now there is no hope of remembering anything it seems if it is not written down, and even then I forget. The reality is that who I was is not who I am now, but I can only focus on my current strengths and hope that who I will be in the future is even better than who I thought I was before.
Now for my list of events:
- Discgolfing!
- For those wondering what that is, it is also called frisbee golf where discs slightly smaller than frisbees are thrown into baskets and the rules are basically like golf. There are even long, mid-range, and putting discs.
- We went for a Saturday with our friends Dean & Crystal to the only course I could find in Sydney. It's located on government property and you can only go on holidays or weekends, and this has prevented the course from having official signs to show you where to tee off and what not. Nevertheless, it was a beautiful day and a lot of fun.
- Relief Society Activity
- After discgolfing I went straight to a relief society activity. There were uplifting talks and messages given (of which I missed some from being late), and then afterwards we were served lots of yummy goodies. I was really glad I went and had some fun talking about missions with a couple of ladies in the ward.
- E-Marie's B-day
- A bunch of us celebrated E-Marie's birthday. We spent most of the time chatting about different things and even a lot of gospel topics. You know it's a great group of people when you can just talk for hours about anything. It was also humorous because our host went and took a nap so it was like we had just taken over their apartment.
- Sewing Projects
- As I said before I am definitely doing some more sewing projects. Here are some pics of my latest.
- Kitty update
- Shade no longer has conjunctivitis but still has teary eyes that the cream from the vet is not helping. At this stage we don't know what else to do. He is happy anyway and Matt has completed his new shelf that he absolutely loves! He climbs up to it multiple times per day.
- Aquagolfing
- We went aquagolfing with Brock & Kaytlin and had a blast. I thought it didn't sound that fun to just hit a bucket of balls into water, but they have targets where you can earn money or coupons which makes it more interesting. Matt hit a target twice and got vouchers for a buy one get one free. I was the fastest at going through my balls and didn't hit anything. Nevertheless I had some good distance at times, but absolutely no control on aim.
- Goodbye to the Barnetts
- After aquagolfing we went to the McKeown's home to say goodbye to the Barnett's who are moving about 20 minutes away to their new house. We also celebrated Flavia McKeown's birthday of which I had made a cake for. I've made red velvet cake a lot lately, but this time I stored it in the freezer and later iced it using decorating tools so I could make it even. It worked great! Unfortunately my chocolate curls did not work out so well and when she blew out the candles little chocolate shaving went everywhere as well.
- The following day we also visited the Barnett's at their home for a nice dinner and games. We have really loved all of the families in our ward and it will be sad to see the Barnett's go, but at least they are still close enough to visit.
- Ward changes
- I'm not going to explain a ward as I hope most that read this understand my church lingo. A couple of weeks ago we had a special church meeting organised the stake where they changed our ward boundaries. This means that about 1/3 of the other ward that meets in the same building will now be a part of our ward. This created all kinds of changes. For our little ward it is almost like doubling the numbers. Our bishopric got a new counsellor and the other ward got an entirely new bishopric.
- The biggest change for me in this was getting three new young women! This will be great in helping plan better activities as we will likely have more girls show up regularly. On record I have 15 girls, but I will likely only have 8 or 9 regularly attending church and activities. This also means the workload will increase, but I hope to get people called to help me soon.
Well that pretty much sums up my month. The weather has been getting better but this weekend has been very rainy. I can't wait for summer, except maybe not the creepy crawlers that tend to be around during that time.
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| The huntsman on our porch - this one was actually aggressive and bit the stick Matt tried to poke him with. |
