Saturday, July 2, 2022

Margin Around Life

Did you know I have had this blog since 2013? Next year will be 10 years! I'm the kind of person that  has grand plans and ideas, but the implementation isn't always practical. One thing I'm trying to learn and put into practice is to have "margin", meaning nothing space around all the other stuff. I have so much ambition that I squeeze in everything from work, social time, family time, etc. My problem is I don't have much time left over for the unexpected, spontaneity, etc. The universe has decided to force me to understand this lesson as I've had a cold that just refuses to go away for over two weeks now. I'm often the hare in the story where I sprint trying to get the maximum value out of my time, but then when the unexpected happens I am forced to halt in my tracks. If I learned to be more like the tortoise I could probably go longer without having to stop, such as not getting sick from all the stress and running around. My brain just does not compute not being 100% or more productive all the time. I'm trying to retrain my brain that a smaller output on a daily basis actually means a bigger output in the long run. I need to apply this to my financials as well. I've never been good at having savings or a contingency fund. So here's my two cents for today - we all need "margin". 

I'm skipping my personal video this time. Ironically, it feels like more work than just typing my thoughts. A friend pointed out they use Instagram to basically tell their family's story on an ongoing basis. Maybe I should switch to Instagram? Yet, I really enjoy writing. We shall see. Here's some family updates at least since my last blog. 

Matt's new work truck we organised last December finally arrived! This is the first brand new vehicle we have ever purchased! Surprisingly, it was better for us to organise a new vehicle than to deal with jacked-up prices for used ones. Such a weird market right now. 
  • I went horseback riding for my mental health day. It was awesome, but the guide wasn't confident in my abilities yet and so I was a little bummed the first run I had to trot. My horse Snickers did ok and at least unlike Lass wasn't trying to bite everyone that got too close. I even got to try barrel racing for the first time! 
  • Sakura had lice for the first time! We discovered this right before we were going to be heading out the door. She went to childcare late that day as I had to treat and comb her hair thoroughly. She did really well throughout. I was grateful I had my lice comb from Argentina handy and we had all the essential oils and other items around to naturally treat it quickly. 
  • Matt and I organised a date night to go rock climbing. We discovered that the place closed earlier than we thought. Since we had a sitter we went to the office and watched a show and called it a night. 
  • I also did a zoom call with my one of the ward counsellors and was called as gospel doctrine teacher! Yeah! I love teaching! I secretly hoped they would call me as I knew the previous one had been released and I couldn't think of another calling I had time for. So far I have been sick so I haven't done anything yet, but I have loved really getting back into studying. The last book I truly studied was in Exodus so I've been trying to quickly get caught up. Listening to podcasts on the last week and next week's reading about all the incredible stories made me sad I didn't teach. My favourites from lately are 1. The prophetess Deborah who aided a general in taking the Israelites to battle (Warrior woman?) 2. Elijah feeling lonely so God sends him a friend, Elisha (I get it Elijah). 3. The woman who miraculously filled all the empty pots she borrowed with the one pot of oil she had in order to pay off debts (Where's my miracle pot of oil?) 4. And finally, the amazing woman in 2 Kings 4 who asked for nothing, was given a child, who then dies and says "it is well" (WHAT?? How do you have faith like that?) 
  • I should also mention I gave a talk at church. I think I spoke too long because the poor stake speaker at the end was pretty short. Nevertheless, it was an interesting time because Matt wasn't well so I took the kids by myself. I abandoned them with friends right before my talk and by some miracle they were totally quite and calmly playing the whole time! This talk was good too as I talked all about trusting the Lord even when things aren't going well. I have had to remind myself of my own talk a lot lately so I'm glad I had the opportunity to study and reflect on that. 
  • I also had some amazing times with ladies from church and another girls day out where we went shopping. I am so lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful women. 

This last month has had many frustrations, stressful experiences, and more. I am burned out, but I keep going. I don't really have another solution. This cold has forced me to slow down, but it has not eased the work load. In many ways I pray for a miracle and look forward to whatever solution or easing of the burdens will come in the future. Life is like a rock, it's hard, heavy, and bumpy, but with the right tools the diamond will come out clear and pure in the end. 



Sunday, May 22, 2022

Camping and Easter 2022

 Here's all the fun from the last two months!

  • Went camping in Girraween, NSW
  • Went camping at Inskip - across from Frasier Island
  • Easter fun - dyed eggs, made devilled eggs, and egg hunt of course
  • Festival of Sails 
    • speeding ticket and parenting scare
  • Went to Australia Zoo and fed the roos
  • Played volleyball
  • Went horseback riding
  • Started working as a provisional psychologist
  • My friend Eliza got married!
  • Kid updates
    • Azalea is becoming miss independent or at least trying to. 
    • Azalea had gastro - worst nappies ever!
    • Sakura is learning to write letters and her name







Saturday, March 5, 2022

Building Friendships

 So here are the snippets of my life over the last month:

  • Sakura started swimming lessons
  • I went to a beautiful beach wedding and saw some old friend and reconnected
  • Matt and I tried some new meals
  • Our fish had babies
  • Brisbane is flooded, but we are fine
Here are my videos:



TTFN! Ta-ta for now!




Sunday, February 20, 2022

What's Next?

 Another year, another time to make new plans, set goals, and decide what's next in life. I reflected on what I want to do with this blog. I've kept it going since 2013! Last year I stopped posting anything after July. Each year it has gotten more difficult to dedicate the three or more hours it takes to complete a post each month. I started trying to journal in an app called Journey which has been useful and I find that it has made me less motivated to do the blog. The purpose of this blog has always been part journal and part let friends and family aware of what is really going on in my life. I've now got another system for journalling so what's the best way to keep people up to date? I am NOT a fan of facebook posts in general. I thought of doing videos but then I have to deal with how I look and my poor video editing skills. Continuing the blog seems too time-consuming. Writing doesn't take long, it's the photos and videos that always takes a long time. So my new plan is to do a video recording monthly on Youtube with a bullet list of main events and post a quick video recap of the month that one of my apps automatically creates. No editing so there might be errors and weird stuff there, but I figure my friends and family that bother to read this won't mind right? 

If you feel you have been "left hanging" since my last post in July, let me fill you in. 

1. Started as a business partner at the psychology clinic

2. The clinic passed our NDIS audit (meaning once official we can help those with disability)

3. Azalea started walking at 10 months

4. We moved in to our new house October 9th

5. Got on anti-depressants - helping a lot

6. Picnic at Pemberley and the Jane Austen Ball (the highlight of my year - so much fun!)

7. Got solar installed

8. Got vaccinated for COVID-19

9. Finished Honour's Degree - Didn't get good marks on my thesis and got 2nd class honours. This was a likely a factor in not getting into any of the Master's programs I applied to as well. 

10. Sakura turned 4 (although she claims she is 11 and long like daddy)

11. Had Thanksgiving dinner with friends.

12. Went horseback riding after too long of an absence - it was WONDERFUL!

13. Lots of Christmas party fun. 

14. Azalea turned 1!

15. Went to the U.S. with the girls for my brother's wedding. 

Here's the video updates:




There are so many good photos I could share, but it just takes too long to compile them. For any of you that actually read this, I'm always open to suggestions of what I could do to make this blog better and more meaningful! Matt suggests I just quit the blog and do only vlogs - thoughts? Please let me know! I hope, if anything, this blog helps you get a snippet of what my life is like. 


Saturday, July 17, 2021

Could be better, could be worse.

 Welcome to the "Pit of Despair"!


A friend of mine asks me how I'm doing and I say "Could be better, could be worse." To say I'm doing well is a lie, even to say 'ok' is an understatement. I am not well physically, mentally, spiritually, or any other dimension. As much as I don't want to start this blog out negative and heavy, this is how I feel at the moment. Some day I will review this and ponder at how my life was at the time and be able to see all the good that came from the difficulties. 



I have a cold that has been stubborn and on/off for over a month now. There is a COVID outbreak in NSW and some cases in QLD so we have had lockdowns and mandatory masks in place. Azalea has also been sick so the lockdown has just helped us to not feel like we are missing out while being sick. We are almost better, but even just a cough is enough to not go anywhere. 

The army of gingerbread men that greated me after I took a nap one day


During this time, Sakura basically just sat and watched TV all day every day while I tried to do the bare minimum and rested with Azalea strapped to me in a carrier. Sakura would come in quietly and have me open snacks. One day she ate four bananas while I was resting. I'm grateful she let me sleep even with the excessive eating of bananas. I'm just glad she is content to take care of herself. I leave the back door unlocked too so she can go outside on the trampoline or swings. I try do something fun with her when I'm up for it and one day we painted and put together her lion puzzle. She loves it a little too much and I have had to glue multiple pieces to help it be stronger and the tail has broken off. 



I almost forgot to mention Sakura got her first haircut! She randomly asked me to cut her hair one day. So I got my hair scissors and did it while she played on her tablet. She is very happy with the result. I like that less food and stuff gets stuck in it. 


This led to me considering my own hair. I have REALLY bad scalp psoriasis right now (Note: I know lots of things I could do for this topically and internally. Nothing topical has been very effective and I'm not motivated for the internal remedies). The psoriasis makes me struggle to want to do anything with my hair which is coated with flakes. Also, because it's so long it takes a while to wash and I get tired of pulling handfuls of post-pregnancy hair out. One night before going to bed I cut off a large portion of my pony tail. I can't go to a hair dresser because I'm sick remember? Not the best decision, but I looked up a video and later cut it myself properly with layers. I'm actually quite proud of myself it turned out all right!




Azalea is learning to stand and pretty much only wants to stand all the time. She is no longer happy to crawl around the floor and so I have been struggling with her constant need to be held and stand while playing. She's also not a huge fan of the jolly jumper. I'm now learning just how different every child can be. Both girls at least love the water and bath time.






Azalea is also starting to eat some solids. I have given her avocado, smoothie, yoghurt, and those baby food pouches. 

I'm using an air-fryer for the first time! My pressure cooker was getting fixed and I decided to sell the refurbished one and buy the Instant Pot Duo/Air Fryer. So happy! I even got lucky and the repair people couldn't fix it and sent me a brand new pressure cooker so I got more money back than I expected. There were dramas involved in all this, but no reason to go into it. The best discovery was that my air fryer re-heated pizza actually was crispier and tasted better than when it was fresh! Winning!


The house build is .....moving along slowly. There is so much I could say, but it's exhausting. The building industry is having problems, they did some things wrong that are really difficult or impossible to fix, and the list goes on. We are cash poor now as we have exhausted all funds into this build and are paying rent and mortgage at the same time. There were many unexpected expenses I didn't account for too. Building a house is STRESSFUL! I'm so glad this is not our forever home because we are learning lots of things that we will do differently when we get to that stage. 





We did have some events when we were well enough. Azalea and I flew to Sydney for a day so I could get her US citizenship and passport sorted. That was a bit of a drama - I learned not to take my laptop because they made me find a place I could store it before I was even allowed to enter for my appointment. 


We visited the North Lakes library while they had this special children's display. Sakura LOVED it! She had a great time fishing, building lego's and towers. The highlight was her and another girl playing at the pretend campfire together. They roasted marshmallows, made waffles, and pretended to sleep. 





Sakura hasn't gotten to play with her friend Cristiano since his mom and I both had our second child. We arranged for a day for them to play and they had loads of fun. We were going to go together to my ward activity at a nearby park as well, but he fell asleep. Sometimes I wonder what its like to have your kids take regular naps. 


Sakura had a great time at the park anyway. A friend watched Azalea so I managed to help Sakura climb the ropes to get to the slide. Despite her whining often, I was proud of her for sticking with it and doing it more than once! 


That's life in a nut shell. I won't go into work stressors, but suffice it to say the end of financial year is my least favourite and most stressful time of year as a finance manager. I guess I should note that I am now officially a partner for the psychology clinic. More risk and liability, but I am happy to be of service with what skills I have to help make our dreams come true for meeting the needs of the community, psychologically and more. 








Sunday, June 6, 2021

Chaos

 Life is chaos right now. 


WORK

I've had many nights where I stayed up till 2 or 3am trying to get ahead with work. The psychology clinic is getting ready for NDIS registration which requires us to have all the necessary policies and procedures up and running. It is arduous work. Analysing the business needs, we realised our admin was not supporting our needs, and so I got to fire someone for the first time. I also hired the new admin, who has been amazing. With her help, we have identified other needs of the business and are changing clinical and accounting software. SO MUCH WORK! There's not a lot I can delegate either, so we are just making do the best we can. Matt and I went to visit with friends and watch a movie one night, and they made fun of me because I brought my laptop to work at the same time.  I'm exhausted. 

On the upside, we just finished creating our Mission and Vision statement:

Mission: Empowering people to live flourishing and happy lives through genuine care and teaching them skills to live the life they want. 

Vision: A community where people feel connected, hope for the future, and have the skills and resilience to embrace life's challenges and enjoy the journey.



STUDY

Last week, I had to turn in my honour's thesis research proposal, a 5000-word document covering my project's literature review and methods. I had only done 1/3 in advance, and then I spent all day and night Wednesday and Thursday. I went to bed at 2am Thursday at 4200 words feeling confident I could finish. I neglected to remember that was including references. When I removed that, I had 1500 words left. The hardest part, too, was that I want to do it properly, so although I can easily write 1500 words with the research I had, there were many missing elements requiring me to find new journal articles. I probably skimmed over 100 journal articles over 3 days. I did not finish. After finishing off one paragraph, it was time to pick up my kids. I sent an e-mail to my supervisors advising them I didn't finish, but here's what I could complete. No proofreading, no final edits, even my references had issues, but I sent it anyway. I felt so defeated. It was the first sign that I just couldn't meet all the demands in my life right now. Despite feeling low, one of my supervisors emailed me back the next day and said she thought it was very thorough and her edits were minimal. It's not a graded assignment, but I was more worried about letting them down. Her e-mail made me feel like I hadn't let anyone down, and I had actually done a really good job. Whew! I'm hoping work calms down so I can actually dig into that literature review properly. Three days of working on it had its benefits - I learned SO much, and I have many new thoughts on how to make it better. Additionally, this means I have less to do later. The irony of this is that my research is on self-care and well-being in postpartum mothers. I CLEARLY am not practising much self-care that would help me. By the way, if there are any Australian postpartum mum's out there, my survey is active, so please participate https://uniofsunshinecoast.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0rpXNjEh0ZIrZOK!

FAMILY

After reading the above, you might be wondering how I'm managing this with two kids. I'm not. I quickly lose patience with them and have lost balance between home, work and study. To avoid losing my temper, I have been finding help where I can on the days they aren't in childcare to meet my other life demands. Luckily Sakura is used to playing at random people's house. Over the last month, she and Azalea have been dropped off at three new people's houses. People I didn't even know but had reached out to me from my cry for help on Facebook. I don't know what I would do without help from the community. My current workload is temporary, so it's just trying to get through this timeframe. I'm only surviving because of the many people that have helped me out. Thank you! You know who you are!


HOUSE BUILD

So the house has walls and whatnot, but things have slowed down. The industry is really behind with all the demand. We had an issue where we noticed the sliding doors were installed to open from the wrong sides. At the last minute, we decided to add interior insulation to all the walls (this is not typical for QLD). I am also still battling to get my two-car driveway. In Australia, it is common, mostly due to council regulations, to have a tapered driveway. I think this is stupid because most people park two cars in front of their driveway, so they end up driving on the lawn. I was told I had to apply to council, but when I started to see what I needed to do, I discovered no legislation saying it had to be tapered. Multiple e-mails back and forth from the builder have not yet provided any conclusion. I'm going to get it sorted eventually. The builder just wants to make sure they follow the laws and regulations, but I don't see why it takes them so long to come to the same conclusion I have. Matt is scheduled to do the painting this month, so hopefully, all will go well!


COMPUTER ISSUES

Because nothing in my life can be simple, I had another issue to sort last month. My computer has had issues stalling. I'll go to type and may have to wait several seconds for the computer to catch up. I built the PC myself with such specs to prevent this from happening. I've had three IT persons look at it with no conclusion. One suggested it might be the SSD. The last IT I said that, and he found that there are a small group of people where they experienced micro freezes with that particular SSD. I bought a new one, and it's supposedly easy to install. After over an hour of trying to screw a tiny bolt to hold the SSD in, I gave up. I determined I needed a different screw and found online that it might be in my motherboard box. Naturally, after moving the car and getting into the attic for the box - it's in the MOST inconvenient spot. I had to move three boxes to get to it. After opening it up, I found a bunch of screws, but NONE of them fit. I told the IT as I wasn't sure if the screws for this were standard or not. I purchased a tiny screw for $9 online, but it would come till the end of the week. The IT let me know he found one at work. After a few days of trying to coordinate with Matt to pick it up, I finally got it. After installing it, I discovered the screw head was too narrow and wouldn't hold the SSD in place. AHHHH! Luckily my eBay purchased screw arrived the next day and fit perfectly. Today I went to reformat the drive so I can then get the data transferred, and naturally, something is wrong, and I can't access the drive. I gave up and messaged IT. I just want him to remotely set it up. Seriously, I'm cursed. 

POSITIVE STUFF

I'm still playing basketball Tuesday nights which is no longer making me sore or stiff. One night it wasn't the mood-boosting activity I had hoped for, though. I had to take my girls as it was an early game. The team we played was rough, and the ref didn't call some of the fouls. We also just weren't playing with much team spirit, from my perspective. I had had such a rough day that the general low mood of everyone was really getting to me. When I got everyone buckled in and I sat in the car, I just bawled—so much emotion from the day I just had to let it out. Poor Sakura kept telling me to stop crying. We listened to Enya on the way home, and I hoped the next game would be better. It was, thankfully. 

I had a couple of fun nights out doing a murder mystery show and just getting together with friends and watching a movie. 




We had a fun dinner night making empanadas and visiting friends. We had our own assembly line going to make them all. I miss the empanada pre-cut circles I could buy in Argentina. So much faster. Still, we had chicken, meat, and cinnamon apple empanadas. It was a great opportunity to cook and chat at the same time. 


My friend Jennis and I have been meeting to get our life in order, so to speak. Meetings have covered organising our to-do list and priorities, budgeting, and meal planning. For example, we met last week to do a MASSIVE 11 hours of prepping 14 freezer meals each. It was so much work, but we finished! Yesterday I tried my first meal, Italian pot roast, and it was really yummy. We had the missionaries over for dinner, and I loved that all I had to do was dump it in the crockpot earlier in the day, and it was done when I got home 5 minutes before the missionaries arrived. 



Sakura has had some good times, including a play date with Cristiano and a visit to White Ridge Farm with her joy school friends. 







Azalea is practically crawling. She now can easily scoot across the room and is so good at getting up on her knees I think crawling is soon to follow. Unfortunately,
this means I have to keep the floor cleaner and make sure Sakura doesn't leave non-baby friendly items around. For example, one day, Azalea found a leftover popped balloon piece to suck on. Teething is not helping me catch up on sleep, but she still is happy most of the time. 




An awesome quote I heard recently from Dr Justin Coulson is, "The PRODUCT of parenting is the parent, NOT the child." I think that is so true. I am growing more from learning to be a parent than all of my efforts to teach my daughters to be good people. 





Monday, May 10, 2021

The Right Things

Ever felt like there is just too much on your plate, but feel like there's nothing you can do about it? That's how I am at the moment. I started getting involved in too many things and am neglecting my own self-care and my house. Sometimes it's just so hard prioritising the right things. So here are the things going on in my life at the moment, which may or may not be the "right" things. 

House Updates: 
Windows in, roof done, electrics done, and soon enough we shall have walls! It's gone surprisingly fast when there are delays for almost everyone in the industry. So far the builder has done an excellent job and we can see the difference in quality between us and our neighbours. 





Work Updates: 
A lot has happened in the work space for me. I am now basically a business manager for Matt's business and my friend's psychology clinic In Mind Therapy Pty Ltd. It wasn't my intention, but after many conversations with Jared we found our visions align in how we can help people connect to the right supports to have better well-being. Adding this to my studies has made me too busy for comfort, but we are hoping that once we get our foundation built strong, then I can transition in
to doing behaviour support for people with disabilities. Basically, this involves created a detailed plan for how an individual can manage their disability. As many of you know, I love planning so it will be nice to use those skills to help people while I continue studying to be a clinical psychologist. Watch this space! 

Growing Plants: 
We are trying to grow plants. We shall see how long this lasts. 


Meet Boi: 
On a whim, I went out with Sakura and visited a pet shop. We ended up coming home with a betta fish. Sakura decided to name him "Boi". 



Birthday Parties:
Multiple birthdays happening resulted in Sakura having lots of fun at playgrounds and other places. The last one she asked me all day to make a birthday cake. 




I got to go to some awesome girl's night birthday parties as well. I'm so lucky to know incredible women that I can do fun things with! 

Live production of Footloose
Live production of Footloose


Karaoke!


Date night: We've moved on from volleyball and are exploring other activities including trying out the new Burrito Bar by our house. Another night we went to a place where they have a ninja warrior course, laser tag, and trampolines. Matt was shocked the warped wall was actually really easy for him. He surprised me too with how well he did on most of the course that now I think when he is smack talking people on the ninja warrior show, he might actually be right that he could do better. 



Basketball Team: 
I just started on a basketball team with friends on Tuesday nights. I'm absolutely terrible, but it's fun. It's the most competitive formal sport I've done in a LONG time. The first game I managed to at least sprint to catch up with the other team, but then the next game my legs were not prepared and seized up anytime I tried to sprint. I had to take the girls last time and Sakura loved watching me and cheering me on. 

Sakura loves... 
Pikman Sometimes we play video games and Sakura likes to watch. This time I let Sakura take the reins and we discovered she actually does really well at Nintendoland Pikman. 



Taking Photos 





The Beach 




Sea World 
We had a fun visit with the Arderns at Sea World. Sakura got to go on some of the rides for the first time. She LOVED it! Of course, the sting rays were still her favourite. 



Playing with friends 





Sushi - I took her to her first sushi train. We had a lot of gluten/dairy-free tuna rolls.



Her Sister I keep trying to record her doing open/shut them with Azalea, but they always stop once I get the camera. We just got Azalea's cot set up and Sakura was upset because she wanted to sleep with Azalea and I wouldn't let her. 




Azalea Updates:
4 months old and rolling from back to front! Geez this girl will be walking before you know it.