Sunday, March 8, 2020

Life's Lessons

I like to try and organise or plan my blogs in a certain way. This month I feel like instead of listing all the events, I'm going to aim for things I learned in the last month.

Lesson #1 - If there's anything crude, vulgar, or inappropriate, it's not worth wasting time on.

Matt and I love musicals. We had friends that went to see the Book of Mormon musical a long time ago that enjoyed it. We had looked up some of the songs and what we saw we really thought was great! So we thought maybe we would see it sometime. Well, it came to Queensland and I applied for digital lottery tickets where you can potentially win very cheap tickets. To my surprise we got them!



We knew that as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints the musical would not be accurate and potentially have some mockery of the doctrine. I knew it was created by the makers of South Park, but I thought it could still be enjoyable. I was horribly wrong. Matt and I enjoyed the first half for the most part. The songs were really good and funny even if the content didn't align with our actual beliefs. The second half was where we could no longer justify anything. The humour was so crude and even a baptism scene was designed to make it seem as if the missionary and convert were having sex. WOW!! I didn't leave as I was still holding out for a happy ending that makes up for the other things. Unfortunately, it never got better, only worse. I wasn't really offended by the way my church beliefs were presented, just disturbed by the language and inappropriate content. What really shocked me was that so many people really enjoyed what I would call crude and vulgar humour. It just made me sad. I was glad in the end that I was not so desensitised (I have been in the past) that I didn't recognise that there was no place for that kind of filth in my life. I hope I will be smarter about my choices in the future. If I have to convince myself or justify that I'm not going against my beliefs or moral values to do something, it's probably not worth my energy and time. We will all find greater happiness in life if we truly lived according to our own moral compass and values.

Lesson #2 - Successful people work in teams!

I recently watched some videos about selling products on Amazon. Aside from how I think this would be a side hustle I could enjoy and potentially gain passive income - what I learned from those videos wasn't about selling at all. "Successful people work in teams! They rarely work alone" was quoted by Robert Kiyosaki. This quote really rang out to me so I quickly wrote it down. I thought about how I often feel so alone. Why do I always feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders? When life starts to get really stressful I often feel like I have no one to help lift the burden. So what do I do? I just find a way to either ease the burden myself, push less important things off hoping I can get to them later, or I just let the tasks pile up on me until I am forced to seek help. This mentality is so stupid! I actually feel that if I ask people for help they will think I am weak and will like me less. Or, they will find my request for help not necessary because they can handle even more than I can without any help. There have also been times I have made a plea for help and found no one heard my cry (so to speak). I am learning that NOT seeking help is a greater sign of weakness. Service benefits everyone and not allowing others to serve just leads to more people feeling overwhelmed. If I am judged because I reach out feeling like I need help in some shape or form then so be it. Life was never meant to be lived alone and by that, I also mean within your own family.  (P.S. the researcher in me wants to seriously back up all these statements with some of the research I know on the topic. If I were to do so it would be a much better argument but would take more time away from family time. So...my blanket statements without supporting evidence will have to suffice.)

Image result for psychology and need for social connection

Lesson #3 - Babies come on the Lord's time.

Image result for lds god's timingMatt and I have been planning on having another child for some time. Since Sakura, I chose to not take birth control and let another child come whenever. Last year I started paying more attention to my cycles. After timing things perfectly to fit within ovulation days I found what can often happen, severe disappointment and sadness. A couple of times I thought for sure I was pregnant, but my period faithfully came on time. It's not that now would be ideal to be pregnant anyway, but I tend to make myself feel like things need to happen in a certain timeframe or the apocalypse will start.


I am choosing to remind myself that things just don't happen when I want them to happen all the time. Something as special and important as a life entering this world does not happen by accident, whether happy or otherwise. I'm acknowledging that whatever will be will be and I trust that His knowledge is much greater than mine. We expect our next will be a girl and her name will be Azalea Lotus Rose. Whenever the Lord sees fit for her to arrive I'm sure will be the best time even if I don't think so at the moment.

Lesson #4 - Life isn't fair and so what?

Image result for life isn't fair

I tend to believe that good things happen to good people. Perhaps I am just not spiritual enough or too negative and that is why I seem so unlucky at times. A friend went to the United States and I heard about so many little miracles that happened on her trip.  I was happy for her and thought "well that's not surprising, because she is an amazing and very spiritual person." This is a total misconception. There is not a spirituality meter in heaven where the higher your rating the more good things that happen to you. Blessings do come in accordance with obedience, but that doesn't mean that blessing comes in the way you think it will. I have so many examples of this in my life I could go on for hours. I'll explain just the scenario from the last month.

My mother who works for a cruise company that does LDS tours asked me to help give a Sydney tour to someone leaving on a cruise from Sydney. We would have about 5 hours to tour around. Well, their flight was delayed. I told my mom how they are good people and I'm sure they will make their connecting flight somehow. They missed the connecting flight from LAX to Sydney. My mom was madly trying to get them a hotel after midnight while also notifying me of the change. I decided to continue to Sydney as planned and visit friends. While leaving I found that they would actually have the following two days in Sydney. I figured that was a blessing in the end and was able to arrange my plans and childcare so that I could stay an extra day and still show them around.


At the airport, I went to the wrong terminal and they couldn't find me at first. I stupidly thought it would be a good idea to use public transport instead of a taxi. This resulted in difficulties moving the luggage around and not being able to make the steep hill with the luggage to the hotel. At the hotel, I got tickets to do hop on hop off bus and boat tours with them after they changed and were ready. We waited an hour while they had to organise flights to the first cruise destination - all flights were terrible. Flights that landed at 1 or 2 am, flights with 11-12 hour layovers in a different city in New Zealand, and the like. The result was they got a flight causing them to leave Sydney early and arrive in Dunedin, New Zealand a day before the cruise. You can imagine what these poor people who had been through a lot and were experiencing jet lag must have been feeling.

I took them to City Extra Cafe to refuel before touring. The food was great, but by the time we left, we were just going to make our Wild Life Sydney Zoo tour appointment on time. WRONG! One of my transport cards ran out of credit stranding one of the ladies on the wrong side of the train gates - in a split decision I jumped the gate, refilled the card, and then had to explain to angry train staff my reckless decision. Then I did not account for the strain the 10-minute walk for two people with fibromyalgia would cause and when we got there we were late and the two ladies were exhausted. They had one wheelchair left and, naturally, it had broken foot pedals so she had to hold her legs up at an awkward angle to keep her feet up. The zoo tour was great and included feeding a cassowary and petting a yellow-bellied glider. After the zoo and while waiting for the hop on bus to do a water tour, I revealed the bad news my mom had told me about their New Zealand hotel situation. My mom was able to find one hotel for one night, but could not find another night at another hotel. One thing opened up and it was gone before she could book it. Luckily she found another hotel but the result was two nights at two hotels. That seemed to be the last straw for them. We gave up on any further tours since everyone was tired and I had to go home. They spent the last 1.5 hours I was with them talking to my mom and her boss trying to have them magically find a hotel with two nights available. After leaving I found out the soap opera continued as the fancy hotel in Sydney gave them a room without working aircon and had a horrible night. The next hotel in New Zealand was a "dump" and I don't know what happened after that.

Image result for when it rains it pours
What did I learn from all of this? First, that kind of crap happens to me all the time and I need to let go of the idea it's because I'm not good enough. Second, I do believe that everything happens for a reason and so even amid such seemingly unlucky events, God likely has some purpose in it. It may or may not be related to the individuals affected - we will never know. Third, even if pushing and getting angry with people may sometimes allow you to get your way, is it worth wasting your time and energy on? Despite their efforts, they could not get one hotel for two nights. The effort spent resulted in not being able to relax and enjoy Sydney for the short time they were there. I hope to remember that I shouldn't let worrying about future events conflict with my ability to enjoy the present. Lastly, perhaps bad things continuously happen to me because I'm not learning my lesson. "Come what may and love it" is a good phrase to live by as quoted by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin.  Crazy and unfortunate events can happen to anyone, but those that can turn what could be a completely negative experience into a fun adventure will not let the situation take control of them. I want to view life as it truly is, a great adventure full of peaks and pitfalls. Each part of this journey helps me to be a better and stronger person.

Lesson #5 - It's cool to be back in school

I have officially started my university course - Bachelor Honors of Social Science (Psychology). For weeks I tried to prep myself by studying statistics, learning the statistical SPSS program, and reviewing psychology concepts. I spend Monday or Tuesday mornings prepping for my classes which are Tuesdays 12 - 7pm. The first week I felt overwhelmed because I realised it had been 8 years since I had studied psychology and I couldn't remember any conceptual theories specifically when asked. Each week it has gotten easier. I don't feel better because I remember more, but because I feel prepped before class for reviewing the slides and material in advance so I already know what things I am confused about beforehand.

Image result for psychological science comic

I was worried I would be one of the oldest amidst a bunch of 20 somethings, but to my surprise, about half the class are mature aged students. There's a few in their 40's and I think one lady is in her 60's. Many of them have full-time jobs at the same time. I realised that no matter what age you are, you can always go back to school regardless of what your personal situation is like.

Sakura Updates
 - She makes her own eggs every morning right now (with some help). Three eggs! I get the stool and then she will crack the egg but I have to put it in the pan. Then she mixes it up and will grab a plate.



- Sakura is OBSESSED with Moana and the Little Mermaid. Noticing the water theme I had her watch Finding Nemo and Finding Dory. Now I watch one of those four movies every day. Yes feel free to judge me for my daughter's excessive movie watching screen time...I was sick with a cold for three weeks and am not looking forward to changing the routine back to more playtime.



- Sakura got to do a trial at My First Gym. We decided it wasn't worth the money, but she had a blast climbing!

- She still loves swimming, but we have canceled her classes to save money. She has progressed to the point where she can jump off the side of the pool and swim to me over a meter away. I'm blown away at how quick she has picked it up.

From her friends birthday party

- I think it's so funny how a toddler can ignore a toy for ages and all of a sudden it is their favourite thing again. Right now she LOVES her magnetic shapes and playing legos with daddy.



- And here's just some fun Slow-mo videos I took on her playdate...




Other February Stuff
- Matt and I went to a FREE murder mystery night at a museum for Valentine's Day. Thank you Jennis for telling me about it! Our friend's the Arderns were there. Perhaps it wasn't the most romantic way to spend the evening, but we had a blast. We ate some good food and chocolates all while working to solve the murder mystery. Our group won! We won five bottles of wine of which we gave to the other tables and our one group member who said she'd give it to her family who drinks. Thank you Moreton Bay Region for hosting awesome events!

- Aside from reading stuff for University, my latest reads/listens have been the Joseph Smith Papers podcasts on the First Vision and The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown (See her Ted talk below). Never stop learning people!