Thursday, March 18, 2021

Adjusting and Growing

 It has been a whirlwind of a month. I could just highlight events, but this month I think it is pertinent I include the things I've learned as well. 



Lesson #1: It is IMPOSSIBLE to be in PERFECT health

Poor Azalea has had similar gut issues, and health difficulties as Sakura had. She had an awful nappy rash that went away but then got eczema all over her body. The worst area was her neck. I was told to regularly moisturise, and that helped it go away, but then it would flare up again. My suspicion is that there are things in my diet that are inflammatories for her, but I have not figured out what. I have been gluten and dairy-free since birth, but then I cut out chocolate, eggs, and more. The results have not really made much of a difference. I decided to get additional help beyond the doctor. I consulted with a clinic the specialises in nutrigenomics. They suggested I was getting too many oxalates in my diet. Guess what has a lot of oxalates - almonds and other nuts. We try to be mostly paleo so we eat a lot of almond or cashew based foods. We also have a lot of smoothies which we put probiotics, and green food mixes into, and of course, berries also have a lot of oxalates. It was a depressing consultation. After that, I just felt there was no way of winning. It is obvious to me gluten and dairy on a regular basis harm my body, but oxalates now? 

Later I spoke to a naturopath who prescribed some homeopathic remedies for me and bub. It helped, and her health issues seemed mildly improved. She also mentioned it may be beneficial to stick to a diet that is easily digestible - no eggs, corn, red meats, etc. I felt like at this rate, no matter what I ate, it wouldn't be good for me or bub. Not to mention it is stressful when your diet is so limited, and it's hard to find things you actually enjoy eating. For now, I am going to avoid anything I am certain is negatively affecting Azalea's health. I think when I am done breastfeeding, though, I am just going to go back to eating whatever for special occasions and social events. We will aim to not eat anything in excess and still avoid processed foods. There are a lot of things that can negatively affect our health, so I think we will just do the best we can and deal with the negative consequences as they come. 


Lesson #2: It never hurts to ask

A couple times this month, I got four hours of sleep or less at night. I learned years ago that research has equated less than 6 hours of sleep to a form of torture (Click here for more on that). So my baby is essentially torturing me. One night is survivable, but multiple nights and my brain is sludge. I have two jobs and just started my university research project, all of which require significant brainpower. I felt so alone and miserable. Most I knew were too busy or unavailable during the day. I decided to reach out to my local community Facebook page. To my surprise, I had many mothers that reached out and were willing to watch my newborn. Even after I posted "I found someone to help", I still had some message me that they'd be happy to help out another time. I was overwhelmed with how kind and caring people were. A part of me hesitated because I had nothing to give in return. What if they felt I was taking advantage of their kindness? Or, what if they felt my need for sleep wasn't a good enough reason? I was overanalysing it and, in the end, realised what does it matter if they were the ones that volunteered? It doesn't hurt to ask. In my case, I got two wonderful women from my neighbourhood to help when I desperately needed it. I could not have functioned without their assistance. 


Lesson #3: It's ok to say NO

I love helping people, but sometimes I take on too much for myself. I pride myself on being the kind of person that is reliable and trustworthy. So, when I say I will do something, I will bend over backwards to do it. Over the years, I have gotten better at not taking on more than I can chew (it may not seem like it at times). Usually, I can get everything done, but I forget to allow time for things to go horribly wrong. Like when I try to go to an appointment, and although I planned to leave with plenty of time, this is when the baby decides to vomit on the outfit she is wearing. After the new outfit goes on, more vomit. By the third outfit, it just seems like the universe is against you! I came to the realisation that it had been a rough week, and I was behind in my normal obligations. Although I felt like a failure, I reached out and had to cancel something I had committed to doing. It worked out fine in the end, and I learned that it was ok to say that I couldn't do it in the end. 



On to some other fun adventures in the last month. 

We went on a hike from Kings Beach along the coastal cliffs to Moffat Beach. It was lovely, but I didn't enjoy the scenery as much because the rocks were slippery and required me to watch where Sakura and I stepped. It was a beautiful day for it. Sadly, the clouds did not protect us from the sun, and poor Azalea got a little burned on her arm and leg that was exposed. Parenting fail! 


The non-baby carrying group

We went to Sea World again for their Carnivale night. Sadly we didn't arrive in time to feed the stingrays, but Sakura still got time to try to touch them. My favourite was just catching up with the good friends we went with. 



I also went to a play centre with Sakura and Azalea and to chat with a friend. To my surprise, Sakura was happy to go play by herself the majority of the time. This was such a relief as Azalea had to be held the whole time. After my friend left, I couldn't get Sakura to leave! She just wanted to go down the slide all day, it seemed. This was also her first time with me paying for the coin cars. I'm not sure she got the hang of it. 



One day I took Sakura and Azalea with me to recycle some bottles for cash. I had never done it before, so one of the attendants helped me dump my massive bag of bottles into the sink to sort. Sakura had a great time helping put them on the conveyor belt. I was glad I brought the milk crate we had with bottles in it. It ended up being the perfect stool for her to stand on!



Sakura has also continued doing Joy School. I haven't seen her get much better with sharing, but it's funny seeing her become the demanding hostess every time it's our turn to host. She loves to tell everyone what to do and where to sit. Hmmm... inherited trait from me perhaps? 

Joy School Fun

Matt and I have had the benefit of doing some date nights. We haven't had proper date nights on a regular basis for a long time. A friend has been able to watch the kids while we go to play volleyball at the stake centre (church building) on Friday nights. It has been AMAZING! Not only do I get some exercise in and feel good, but I also get all the nostalgia from playing volleyball in Utah when I was younger, Matt and I get some alone time to chat to and from the chapel, AND I feel a lot closer to him by learning to play with him. Quick shout out to my dad for my awesome AVP outdoor volleyball. It's everyone's favourite ball, and they are always sad we leave early and take it away. 


Games night: Rummikub and WandaVision

Last week we went to a fun museum night instead, and I won the limbo challenge! I was one of the shortest and youngest people there, so not much to boast about, but I did win cool pineapple glasses! 

Me doing limbo

Matt had his birthday on the 9th, and I made honey baked ham for him, of which we just finished leftovers. Sakura and I painted his birthday present. I was bummed Sakura later painted my cherry blossom tree. I bought him an ice maker, so he can stop filling all our freezer space with ice for ice baths. He still hasn't used it. 







Other Stuff: 

The new skirt I made and Sakura has a matching dress.

Current house progress - slab hopefully being poured the 22nd.

Azalea enjoys the water.

We have had some ups and downs for sure this month, but each time I see Azalea gives me a big smile, I figure life can't be too bad. Sakura has also continued to be the ever-loving big sister and sometimes a little too much. Like the time's Azalea sleeps and Sakura HAS to touch her and wake her up... Oy. Yet seeing them sit together and watch something is adorable.